A Hero’s Haven Read online

  Cash hid a smile. He wasn’t sure he believed Hope’s mumbo-jumbo about horses having faith in themselves. But she got great results, so he wouldn’t knock it too hard. She understood horses better than most. And he was grateful to her for pairing him with Samson.

  Hope led a beautiful bay off the trailer. Her coloring ran nearly black on her withers and down her legs. Cash followed at a respectful distance, not wanting to spook the horse. The gate closed behind him with a heavy clang. A gong sounding the start of battle.

  Hope crossed the arena, holding Molly’s halter and lead line. “We’re gonna start from scratch here. Molly’s worked with my brother a few times, but besides me, that’s it.” She offered him the equipment. “You remember what to do?”

  Cash nodded. “I don’t make eye contact, and I invite her to circle.”

  “Exactly. Ready?”

  “As I’ll ever be.” He left Hope and crossed to within a few feet of Molly. “Hey, girl,” he called softly. “We’re gonna get through this today, you and me.”

  Molly pawed the ground, a sign that she was uncomfortable. That made two of them. He held out his hands and stepped toward her. She started circling with a leap. It was clear to Cash within a few minutes that she was much greener than Samson. Had he been this skittish at first, too? Probably.

  They circled and circled. Then circled some more. The sun rose higher in the sky. Cash didn’t think they’d progress beyond this, but Hope kept encouraging him. Finally, Molly slowed to a walk and dropped her head, chewing and licking.

  “That’s it, Cash. Turn and walk away. Don’t look over your shoulder.”

  He turned and walked to the center of the arena. Sure enough, Molly followed.

  “Now stop, turn, and give her praise.”

  Cash turned, startled the horse was right behind him, and he reached up to pet her in the same place he knew Samson liked. “You’re a good girl, Molly. You’re a good girl, will you let me put the halter on you?”

  He raised a hand, half expecting her to bolt. But she accepted the halter.

  “Excellent,” Hope called. “So first we’re going to start her with stuff she’s used to, scratches along her flank, abdomen, and thighs.”

  Together they worked on touch, simulating grass and twigs. They quickly progressed to motion and low-level noise – using weighted flags, branches, and flags on long arms. The sun climbed higher.

  Cash did okay with movement on the ground and light noise. Flapping tarps, and movement simulating snakes. But the second he caught a movement out of his periphery, he froze for a split second, air stopping in his lungs. Molly froze too.

  Hope dropped the flag and approached, eyes full of concern. “You okay? You tensed up, and then Molly did, too.”

  Damn straight, he did. “I’ll be okay.”

  “Try again?”

  Dread crawled up his spine. “Yeah, sure.” He removed his Stetson to wipe the back of his hand across his forehead, then gave Molly a pat. “Scared you too, huh?”

  Before he was ready, Hope tossed a weighted flag at them. He jumped out of the way, and Molly did the same, nickering and dancing backward. “Hey,” he snapped. “You were supposed to warn me.”

  “No. I wasn’t. You don’t get a warning on the trail, or in the pasture.”

  They continued to work, and just when he thought he couldn’t take it anymore, Hope called it. “Time’s up. We’ll start again after a rest. I’ve got sports drinks by the gate.”

  Hope moved in to attend to Molly while Cash made for the edge of the arena, suddenly realizing how thirsty he was. He twisted the cap off a bottle, and tipped his head back, draining the contents in under a minute.

  Travis joined him, and Cash was drawn to the whip in his hand. “What the hell is that?”

  “This?” Travis lifted his hand, then flashed Cash a grin. “Your reckoning.”

  He grew hot just looking at it. “Anyone ever tell you you’re a crazy motherfucker?”

  “Takes one to know one.”

  His stomach hollowed. He was really going to do this. Crawl into the ring with a barely tamed animal and subject himself to loud noises. Hell, yeah, it took one to know one. He didn’t have a screw loose, he must have lost it over in the sandbox.

  “Let’s get this over with.” Pulse thrumming double-time, he stepped back into the ring.

  Molly laid her ears back and pawed the ground as he approached. Hope glanced at him sharply. “You’re making her nervous. Slow your breathing, and look at her feet.”

  Cash took a steadying breath. “I don’t know if I can do this,” he murmured.

  “You can, and you and Molly are going to help each other. Be brave, Cash. If not for yourself, then for Molly. In order for her to be a functional horse on a ranch, she has to learn that loud noises aren’t predators, they’re just loud noises. And she needs to be able to trust the humans around her to keep her safe. We’re her last hope, Cash. She’s been adopted twice. She can’t go back. And no one will take her.”

  “So it’s do or die time for her.”

  She nodded. “Yeah. It’s up to us now.”

  Hope grabbed his hand. “Just lower your head, shut your eyes, and stand with me for a few minutes. Get in tune with your surroundings, and when you’re able, listen for Molly’s breathing and match yours to it. Just like I taught you with Samson.”

  His mind raced. Fear, panic, guilt, shame, all warring for supremacy in his body. But then slowly, he was able to bring his attention to the warmth of Hope’s hand. And next, to the bird calls and the way the wind rattled through the bare branches. Finally, to Molly. Hope placed his hand on Molly’s neck. “Keep your eyes shut,” she said quietly.

  After a minute, he felt Molly’s neck soften, and the tension drained out of his shoulders.

  “There,” Hope said. “Did you feel that?”

  He nodded.

  “She trusts you right now. Take her lead line and let’s walk with her.”

  They circled the arena once, twice. And then it happened.

  He caught the motion out of the corner of his eyes, and tensed as the string of firecrackers exploded. SNAP, CRACK, Snapsnapsnap, CRACKCRAK.

  Molly reared, yanking the line from his hand, and bolted to the far side of the arena.

  Cash exploded. “Jesus Christ, did you have to do that? What the fuck?” His ears buzzed with adrenaline. Fuck. Hot tears choked him. What the fuck kind of sick game were they playing?

  “Are you still standing?” Travis called from the fence.

  “No thanks to you.” His breath came in harsh puffs. He glanced across the arena. “And look what you did to the horse.”

  Hope was already with Molly, speaking in soothing tones, stroking the horse’s neck. He joined her, and together they soothed the horse. “I’m not sure this is a good idea. For either of us.”

  “Sorry about that. She’ll pick up on body language you don’t even know you have. If you brace for the noise, she’ll learn to associate noise with danger. Remember the whole point of pressure and release is that they learn to let go of their fear. She’ll be fine. We’re going to make sure of it.”

  Forget the horse, he wasn’t sure he’d be fine.

  “I’m right here, Cash,” Kate called softly from across the paddock.

  He swung toward her, meeting her gaze. She should be punishing him with her silence after the way he left her last night. He’d seen the disappointment in her eyes when he’d made the mistake of glancing back at her as he climbed down from the loft. But instead, she looked fresh and sweet, and her eyes shone with absolute faith in him.

  His chest burned and he studied the dirt on his boots. He stood at the edge of a bottomless chasm, toes hanging over the edge. He should give into the pull and fall into the abyss. Let the darkness take him. His throat closed, as the feelings pressed in on him from all sides. He didn’t deserve her kindness. Certainly not her faith. It was too much.

  “I’m not going anywhere. Promise.”

 
Kate’s voice sounded like a beacon. Reaching him like a pinpoint of light in the black. A tightness he’d held onto for far too long loosened inside him. She had no reason to believe in him, yet her face told a different story. As did the faces of Travis and Hope. Letting them down would be worse than quitting. They were counting on him. Hell, Molly was counting on him. He wasn’t going to let her be shipped off to the glue factory. She was innocent in all this, let down by her humans. Well, this human was not letting her down. No matter how scared he got in the ring. He shot Kate a grateful nod, deepening his resolve to lick his fear, once and for all.

  By the end of the session, he was sweaty and exhausted, but both he and Molly had made progress. They’d stood together in the middle of the ring, he leaning against Molly, with an arm over her neck, eyes shut and successfully managed balloon popping at random intervals and distances. Car honking came next, then wood snapping, cap guns, and finally skeet shooting.

  Travis met him at the edge of the arena. “Good work in there. I know it was hard. It will take time, but you and Molly will get there.”

  Cash blew out a breath, accepting the sports drink Travis offered. “Thanks for setting me straight.” Inch by laborious inch he felt like he was crawling out of his self-imposed darkness. Slowly coming into the light.

  “You’re worth it,” Travis said. “I’m not going to lose another team member if I can help it.”

  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kate head for the barn. He jogged to catch up with her. “Kate, wait?”

  She stopped and turned, face pink. He wanted nothing more than to gather her into his arms and lose himself in her sweetness. He stopped a few feet away. He probably stunk to high heaven anyway. He was drenched from the exertion in the ring.

  “About last night.”

  Her face pinched. “I owe you an apology–”

  “No, no. I owe you one. I reacted badly. Again.” All the things he wanted to say but didn’t know how, ballooned in his chest, squeezing off his air. He swallowed hard. “I’d like to make it up to you. And explain myself. Can we try again? Over steak and potatoes tonight?”

  CHAPTER 13

  Kate’s stomach filled with butterflies as she stepped out of her trailer. Cash had been so brave today. For him the struggle was real. Her own problems paled in comparison. She would do well to remember that as she put the pieces of her own life back together.

  Her heart beat faster with every step that brought her closer to Cash’s. Kissing Cash was… better than anything she’d ever imagined. Or written about in songs. The sensations he’d unleashed in her body made her nipples tingle just from the memory. No man had ever made her ache to be touched. Made her want so, so much more. She’d never been kissed like that, like a she was a sensuous woman. He’d kissed her like he’d wanted her. And when he’d slipped his fingers under her shirt… wetness rushed to her core at the thought of it.

  But the way he blew hot and cold concerned her. Which Cash would answer the door? The man who looked at her with heat in his eyes? Or the tortured soul who battled demons in the arena and pushed her away when she got too close?

  He opened the door as soon as she stepped on the bottom stair and she drew in a quick breath, awareness ballooning in her chest. He looked so good. Soft denim hugged his thighs, and he’d put on a white button down that pulled tight across his chest. The way his eyes lit made her want to crawl right into his lap, beard and all. She’d never kissed anyone with a beard before last night. It had been softer than she expected. She liked the way it tickled her cheek, her neck. Her mouth watered at the thought of kissing him again.

  He extended his hand. “Hi.”

  She took it, electricity zinging through her at his touch, and let him pull her close, heart thumping wildly. Without even thinking about it, she tilted her head inviting him to kiss her like it was the most natural thing in the world. He didn’t disappoint. Heat flooded her senses when his lips met hers, and her eyes fluttered shut. His mouth was soft, gentle, and she melted against him, vibrating with longing.

  “So sweet,” he murmured when he pulled away and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I like your hair down.”

  She smiled up at him, warming all over at his compliment. “Thank you.”

  His eyes widened. “You can talk again?”

  Grief pierced her, and she winced. “Yeah.”

  “That’s not a good thing?”

  She lifted a shoulder. “Yes, no. It’s complicated.”

  Understanding filled his eyes. “Isn’t everything?” He tugged on her hand. “Come inside?”

  She stepped inside a perfect replica of her own trailer, but with one difference – his kitchen smelled heavenly. The aroma of garlic and steak hit her senses. Where had he learned to cook? So much she didn’t know about this man. So much she wanted to learn.

  Cash stepped to the stove. “Sit. Steaks are ready.” He brought two plates to the table filled with steak, fries, and greens. “It’s pretty simple,” he said half-apologetically.

  “I think it’s amazing.” And perfect for a real first date.

  He pulled a chair up to the end of the table. “There’s ketchup or steak sauce, if you prefer.”

  Kate laid a hand on his leg, enjoying that he was too big to squeeze in the narrow space across from her. “It’s perfect,” she answered, keeping her voice light. She cut into the steak and took a bite. She shut her eyes and groaned. It was perfectly done and well-seasoned. A steak after her own heart. When she opened her eyes, Cash was staring at her with heat in his eyes. Answering heat shot through her center, right to her panties. Her throat tightened as she held his gaze. After a long moment, she cleared her throat. “Where’d you learn to cook a steak like that?”

  His eyes crinkled when he smiled. “My mom. She worked as a line cook at a truck stop when I was a kid. Said steak was the easiest thing to learn how to cook after scrambled eggs. So she taught me when I was about ten years old.”

  How would her life have been different if her mother had taught her something besides guilt? From the time she’d been a little girl, Helene had made it clear how much she’d given up for her daughter. And it didn’t matter how successful Kate was, it was never enough to give her mother back the career she’d put aside when she’d unexpectedly become pregnant. “You’re lucky.”

  Cash nodded. “Yeah, I am. My mom’s great. She worked three jobs to make ends meet for us. But she always had time for me.”

  He kept her entertained while she ate, carrying the burden of the conversation, regaling her with stories of growing up in rural Maine, of spending summers in the woods, and of winters huddled around the stove.

  Cash removed their plates to the sink and returned with a stack of cards. “I know you probably have a lot of questions. And you deserve answers.” He took her hand, lacing his fingers with hers, his face a mask. “And I have questions, too.”

  Kate’s blood raced, stomach flipping.

  “So I thought maybe the easiest way would be to play cards?”

  “I don’t follow.” She cocked her head.

  His eyes crinkled again, sparkling with humor. “I thought we could play war.”

  “War?” The kid’s game? What was he playing at?

  He nodded. “Yeah. Winner of each round gets to ask a question. Loser has to answer.”

  Fair enough, but fear settled in the pit of her stomach. What if she revealed too much? What if he pushed her away again? She drew in a deep breath, slowly releasing it. “Okay.” He shuffled, then passed her the cards. She cut the deck and shuffled again, then dealt the stack. He looked straight at her, face tight. Her heart went to him. “We don’t have to do this,” she murmured. “We can just talk.”

  He shook his head, determination flashing in his eyes. “Nope.” His hand hovered over the top of his stack. “Ready?”

  She nodded.

  “On three. One, two, three.”

  They flipped. She groaned inwardly. She’d drawn a four, Cash a seven. A de
vilish spark leapt into his eyes and he gave her a slow, knowing smile. Her heart leaped to her throat making it hard to breathe. She suddenly felt like she was walking a tightrope.

  “Hey,” he said softly, stroking a finger down her cheek. “Don’t worry, we’ll start off easy. Favorite color?”

  Kate breathed out a sigh of relief. “Blue.” She won the next round, and asked the same question, following his lead.

  “Green. Like your eyes.”

  A thrill ran through her as she dropped her gaze, afraid he’d see how his answer had affected her. They quickly ran through a list of favorites, then moved to firsts. “First kiss?” She asked boldly, pulse racing.

  He cocked his head, arching a brow. “Jenny Martin, sixth grade.”

  She was certain her eyes popped out of her skull. “Sixth grade? Did you like it?”

  Cash’s smile broadened. “You’ll have to ask that on another round.”

  A few rounds later, he turned the tables, asking her the same question. “Trent Ridley, sixteen.” She’d leave off the part that he was a guitarist in her band and twenty-two at the time. Or that her mother had discovered them and fired him on the spot.

  “Did you like it?” Cash asked stiffly.

  “Not nearly as much as I liked yours,” she blurted, heating.

  Cash’s eyebrows shot up his forehead, and his eyes flared. Electricity arced between them. “That so?”

  She swallowed, mouth going dry, and tore her gaze from him. She was entering dangerous territory here, and they hadn’t even gotten to the tough questions. The ones she had about what put the tortured look she’d seen on his face on multiple occasions. The questions from him she hoped to avoid.

  She flipped a card. Queen of spades.

  Cash flipped. Queen of diamonds.

  Her insides turned upside down as she raised her eyes. “What now?”

  Cash drummed his fingers on the table, thinking. “Double or nothing? Winner gets to ask follow up questions.”

  “Let’s go,” she answered, her question already forming in her mind. She laid her cards down, and shut her eyes before she flipped the final card, sending a silent plea to the universe that she’d win. An Ace of Hearts faced up at her when she opened her eyes, handily beating Cash’s eight of clubs. “What keeps you awake at night?” she asked, scooping the cards into her pile.